As the father of four grown children, I have experienced several of those “parenting” moments when I needed to decide whether my children’s actions required discipline or if the child needed some form of extra help. Commonly, when people hear the word discipline, they equate it to punishment, which is only a very small aspect of the definition. Instilling discipline means getting a person to follow a set of rules or behaviors. Techniques for instilling discipline include praising and encouraging good behavior, teaching or practicing proper conduct, explaining why bad conduct should not be repeated, and, occasionally, deciding on some appropriate form of punishment if the infraction is serious enough. Focusing on positive reinforcement is usually the best way to instill discipline. Helping a struggling child could range from giving them extra attention, arranging tutoring sessions, and when necessary, getting them the medical or emotional attention they might need. Children do not come with an instruction manual, so parents do their best and hope their actions do more help than harm. I remember several occasions when I probably didn’t make the best decisions with my children. Sometimes, I pushed them too hard, and sometimes I didn’t push or encourage them enough. However, decisions must be made and parents cannot relinquish their responsibilities.
A married couple was recently convicted of manslaughter in a Michigan court due to relinquishing their parental responsibilities in preventing their son from committing a school shooting at Michigan’s Oxford High School in 2021. James and Jennifer Crumbley’s son, Ethan, was just fifteen years old when he committed the horrific attack that resulted in the deaths of four of his classmates. Ethan has been sentenced to life in prison. His parents, James and Jennifer Crumbley, were convicted of four counts of manslaughter as the court concluded that “the deaths of the victims were a direct and natural result of the defendants’ gross negligence.” Trial court testimony provides evidence showing the parents were notified their son was exhibiting troubling behaviors by his school counselor. According to the Appeals Court record, Ethan had submitted a math worksheet that included drawings of a handgun and a body lying in blood. He also wrote “blood everywhere” and “the thought’s won’t stop, help me” on the worksheet. The school counselor strongly advised the parents to get Ethan medical attention within 48 hours. The Crumbley’s disregarded the warning signs of their child’s emotional distress and ignored the counselor’s advice. They also provided him the means to conduct his shooting by purchasing him a handgun and ammunition, making no effort to restrict the child’s access to the weapon. As a result, four innocent young people were murdered, and their families are left with endless sorrow. The surviving school community, students, parents, faculty, and staff will have to endure the pain of the attack. This was a horrific school shooting which should never have happened, adding to an unconscionably long list of senseless targeted attacks occurring in our schools.
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) and the American Psychological Association (APA) have published data showing a significant increase in the number of students in the U.S. who are struggling with mental or emotional health issues. Many students have reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. While most students who suffer from mental illness will not resort to violence, it is critically important for us to intervene for two reasons: mental health is an important part of your child’s overall health and failing to intervene could result in tragedy as it has in so many school shooting cases. We, as parents, have a responsibility to recognize the warning signs our children may be on a path toward violence and get the resources needed to stop that potential trajectory. We must get past the stigma that there is any embarrassment individually or collectively related to mental illness. Like any other illness, it should be promptly acknowledged and promptly treated by a professional.
The US Secret Service (U.S.S.S.) has extensively studied prior school shooting incidents to identify common traits exhibited by the shooters. The results clearly show targeted school attacks can be prevented if parents, teachers, fellow students, and/or community members recognize challenging behaviors and report their suspicions. Based on those suspicions, the school administrators, medical providers, and law enforcement can work together to conduct a threat assessment and determine the necessity of intervention through medical or psychological care. The U.S.S.S study showed most of the incidents were motivated by interpersonal grievances with classmates, and in some incidents were motivated by a desire to commit suicide or to attain notoriety. Like Ethan Crumbley’s case, many past shooters have exhibited a preoccupation with weapons, violence, or suicide that was recognizable in their art, writing, or social media posts. Past shooters have often revealed their intentions through insinuations or predictions of future harm or by making specific or generalized threats. In many of the cases, the threats were known by a third party such as a classmate, teacher, or parent. Parents should take note of changes in behavior, such as a noticeable decline in grades or the child is spending more time alone away from friends. Take note of any indication they are becoming desperate or distressed. As much as we might want to respect our children’s privacy, you have the right and the responsibility to periodically check your child’s room. Check for any indication your child has weapons you were unaware of or if they have been researching past attacks or are planning an attack. It is important to recognize; individually, these signs are no guarantee a child will become violent. Still, they should be the basis for an immediate and collaborative discussion about your child’s mental health.
Please do not be intimidated by the name; a “student threat assessment” is not a criminal indictment or a conviction. It is an examination of cumulative evidence to see if the youth is distressed and may harm themselves or someone else. If the assessment determines the youth does not require immediate intervention, the parent can work with the school to monitor the child to ensure they stay on the right path.
The goal of a student threat assessment is to get proper care for youth exhibiting challenging behaviors at first indication and well before potential criminal activity. As we unfortunately learned from the Crumbley case, failing to seek help can have devastating consequences. ❦

Resources for parents:
Mental Health for Adolescents. National Institute of Mental Health.
CLICK HERE

schoolsafety.gov. Mental Health Resources for K-12 Schools. (2022).
CLICK HERE

SurgeonGeneral.gov. The Surgeon General’s Advisory on Protecting Youth Mental Health. (2021).
CLICK HERE

About the Author

Christopher Cleary is an Associate Professor in the Division of Criminal Justice and Homeland Security at St. John’s University in Queens, New York. Before working at St. John’s, he served for over 29 years as a member of the Nassau County Police Department. He retired in 2015 at the rank of Deputy Chief.
He has a Master’s degree in Homeland Security Strategies from the United States Naval Postgraduate School and a Ph.D. in Criminal Justice from Nova Southeastern University. His doctoral dissertation focused on reducing school shootings through the effective use of the student threat assessment process.

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