As a little kid, I vividly recall attending church with my mother during the holiday season. One Sunday, I noticed a woman quietly weeping. Her expression was etched with pain, and I didn’t understand why. Concerned, I turned to my mother and asked why she was crying. She gently explained that sometimes, this season can make people sad. That moment stayed with me, a poignant reminder of the complex emotions that the holidays can evoke. As the years passed, we too, like many other families, faced difficult holiday times, learning to navigate life’s trials. Part of growing up is understanding that everyone carries burdens, even during seasons meant for joy.
In contrast, I also remember being eight or ten years old, watching the neighborhood teenagers, some likely bound for Vietnam, gather every Thanksgiving and Christmas for a football game. These young men, brothers to one another but older brothers to us all, played with reckless abandon, a fervent determination, and as much competitive fire as anyone I’d ever seen or would ever see. And at the same time, there was a deep brotherly spirit amongst all of them. I remember all their names and faces.
They were our role models, my role models, fearless in the struggle of the game, wanting to win, and embodying a unique blend of fire and camaraderie. We didn’t have the words for it back then, but watching them was a rite of passage—it was joy elevated to something transcendent. These games, the “Turkey Bowls,” became essential to my childhood. Those boys, now men in their late sixties and seventies, were unknowingly shaping my character. They were kind, tough, and relentless, bound by a deep fraternal bond that surpassed the game itself. In them, I found twenty older brothers.
As I grew, I earned my place on that field—first as a ball boy, then with tentative participation, feeling the thrill of each tumble and the pride of a bruise or muddy pants that came with earning a moment. Finally, I was old enough and strong enough to play alongside them. Earned, not given. Those moments are etched in my memory, vivid as if they happened yesterday.
Over fifty years later, I recently attended a high school alumni event and saw these men again. Despite their white hair, limps, and the visible tolls of age, the recognition, and perhaps a tear or two we shared was profound. In those brief moments, we relieved half a century of memories. I was suddenly ten years old again, filled with awe and gratitude. They had shaped me more than they could ever know, and the joy they imparted stayed with me, carried across miles and years, influencing how I moved through life and what I taught others. I felt the honor of being one of them, of belonging to that brotherhood. It was a joy one that was deep and earned.
Here’s the message… seek and embrace joy. Joy is not the same as happiness. Joy, as Viktor Frankl wrote, emerges when we find meaning in life, not when we chase happiness as an end. Meaning comes from creating, achieving, loving, or embracing life’s unavoidable suffering with a resilient heart. It’s tangible, a choice to be made. Happiness, perhaps, is more fleeting.
The Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius reminded us not to let life extinguish our imagination. He taught that if something external distresses us, the pain comes not from the thing itself but from our perception of it—a perception we have the power to change at any moment.
Today’s world bombards us with negativity and pressure, tempting us to feel crushed by circumstances. Yet, within us lies the choice to emerge as a jewel forged under pressure. Choosing is an act, not a reaction; it is a deliberate step toward becoming, not just moving.
This holiday season, I encourage you to choose joy. Celebrate the quiet victories in your daily life.
Be joyful, grateful, kind, humble—be. Shakespeare’s famous words, “To be or not to be,” should resonate as a call to action: choose to embody the change you wish to see in the world, starting with yourself. Life’s challenges are inevitable, but they hold the seeds of growth. Seek opportunities, not fairness. There is joy in everything—music, the smell of grass, the rustle of leaves, the crisp air of autumn, a smile and a wave, and a welling of tears for that moment of nostalgia. Focus on joy and let it ripple through your life and those around you. Your joy lives with you!
Time may seem linear, but our response to it is not. If nothing is guaranteed, why not choose joy? If you are defined by what you repeatedly do, be the person you once wished for in your life. One day, that person will be looking back at you in the mirror. ❦

About the Author

Dan O’Connor is a highly respected authority in national and homeland security, renowned for his expertise in leadership, crisis management, emergency management, continuity of operations, and anti-terrorism strategies. A distinguished graduate of the Naval Postgraduate School, Harvard Kennedy School, Swedish Defense University, FBI National Academy, and the United States Marine Corps Command and Staff College, Dan has significantly contributed to numerous high-profile and critical assignments both within the United States and internationally.
His experience spans more than 1000 federally declared disasters, including serving as the anti-terrorism officer and emergency manager during the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in Washington, D.C. Dan’s expertise has been sought after for security and emergency management operations at the Summer Olympics (1996, 2004, 2016) and the 2002 Winter Olympics, in addition to consulting for four of the largest U.S. marathons and the Super Bowl.
As a seasoned presenter, lecturer, and published expert in emergency management, asset protection, information security, leadership development, and physical security, Dan’s diverse background in leading Marines, managing large events, and navigating high-risk situations positions him as an invaluable asset for organizations seeking comprehensive operational and strategic guidance.

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