In an increasingly divided world, where friction and disharmony often dominate our daily interactions, the simple yet profound act of kindness stands as a universal remedy. Rooted in all major religions and upheld by the timeless wisdom of the Golden Rule, kindness is not just a moral obligation but a crucial element of mental wellness. It is the bridge that can span the chasms of misunderstanding, prejudice, and conflict that plague our society. Nothing enriches another like a random act of kindness.
Kindness is a universal maxim spanning biology, psychology, and culture. Humans are wired for kindness, empathy, and trust. Studies show infants as early as six months old can display empathetic behavior. Infants and toddlers often naturally engage in prosocial behaviors such as helping, sharing, and comforting others, suggesting these tendencies are innate. Mirror neurons, which are activated both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing the same action, play a role in empathy and understanding others’ emotions. We are born kind.
There’s a physiological component as well. The hormone oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone,” promotes social bonding and positive social behaviors like kindness and trust.
Kindness is also a universal theme which resonates deeply across all major religions. In Christianity, Jesus taught, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12). This echoes the Judaic principle of “loving your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18). In Islam, the Prophet Muhammad emphasized, “The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.” Hinduism teaches Ahimsa, the principle of non-violence and respect for all living beings, while Buddhism extols compassion (Karuna) as a means to alleviate suffering. Even in secular philosophies and modern humanist principles, the essence of kindness is central to ethical behavior.
The Golden Rule, which advocates treating others as one wishes to be treated, is a simple yet powerful guideline. It transcends cultural, religious, and social boundaries, offering a universal standard for human interaction. When practiced, it fosters empathy, understanding, and mutual respect, laying the groundwork for harmonious relationships. The Golden Rule is not just an ideal but a practical tool for navigating the complexities of human interaction, providing a clear path to resolving conflicts and building cohesive communities. So, it’s easy to see we are born kind and have to learn unkindness.
Beyond its ethical and moral dimensions, kindness is a mental wellness imperative. Acts of kindness release endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers, and serotonin, the feel-good neurotransmitter. This “helper’s high” not only benefits the recipient but also enhances the well-being of the giver. Research has shown kindness reduces stress, anxiety, and depression, and even boosts immune function. By fostering positive social connections, kindness combats loneliness and social isolation, which are significant risk factors for mental illness. What’s more, kindness can change and capture a room. The concept of kindness contagion, or the idea that kindness can spread from person to person, is supported by several studies in psychology and behavioral science. Even witnessing kindness can inspire others to reflect and lend a hand.
In a society where mental health issues are on the rise, where polarization increases, and tensions mount, don’t be angry; be kind.
Kindness has the unique ability to bridge divides and heal wounds. Humans have an innate capacity to discern authenticity from the inauthentic. Authentic kindness will disarm hostility, foster dialogue, and encourage cooperation. In a world where differences often lead to division, kindness can be the common ground that unites us. It allows us to see beyond our prejudices and biases, recognizing the shared humanity in each other. We are so very similar, each and every one of us. But it’s that drift from kindness that separates us.
Kindness, like any other skill, requires practice, reflection, and evaluation. There is risk with kindness and there should be no expectation of reciprocity. That’s what makes authentic kindness so powerful. It’s not a trade but a transfer. Practicing kindness requires conscious effort, especially in challenging situations. It means listening without judgment, offering help without expecting anything in return, and approaching conflicts with empathy and understanding. It means choosing to respond with love instead of anger, forgiveness instead of resentment. Kindness is not weakness. Kindness is not “nice.” Kindness is…kindness.
Often, the pontiffs and opinion oligarchs try to package kindness as meek or a weak response to the world’s problems. I disagree. It’s the opposite. It is a powerful, proactive force that can transform individuals, relationships, and communities. By embracing kindness as a core value, we can bridge the gaps of friction and disharmony, fostering a more compassionate, inclusive, and harmonious society. As we navigate the complexities of modern life, let us remember that kindness is not just an option but an imperative—one that has the potential to heal our world.
I have shared with you before, and some of the other work provided that the most powerful, contagious, and long-lasting impact on children is the example of their parents. If you want to instill kindness and compassion in future generations, be kind. The contagion of example is the most profound opportunity for emulation by our children. Demonstrated and witnessed acts of kindness help children understand and develop empathy, cooperation, and effective communication skills. It also fosters sound judgment and resilience. From a purely practical standpoint, kindness has been shown to improve focus and reduce classroom disruptions, leading to better academic outcomes. Kindness also up-regulates emotional self-discipline and critical evaluation. It also minimizes stress and has shown a collective effort to decrease bullying and create a safer, more inclusive environment. If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, build a kind team.
As we grow older and transition from child, to independent teen, and then to adult, the roots of kindness will bind us in tough times and hard times. And, as we move towards our final run, we’ll remember those who paved the way for us, who sacrificed, who made errors, who cried for and with us, and were present, will need kindness most of all.
As you read this, wherever you are in the beginning of your journey, whether starting up or fighting the dying of the light, you have a choice. No one can make you angry, mean, or indifferent. You choose those responses. If you can choose to be negative and angry, you can also choose to return to the quintessential human characteristic: be kind. Walk those miles in another’s shoes. See what others choose not to see. You can be the change you want to see in this world if you simply choose to be kind. So many will tell you that as you age, things are taken away from you. There’s some truth in that. But a long life offers endless opportunities to be the light for another. So many of us find ourselves in moments of darkness and simply need some “light.” Kindness is that light.
Light will always overcome darkness. Be the light. Be kind. Embrace every opportunity to share a bit of you with someone else. In a complex and fragmented world, it is the difference maker. Enjoy the summer! ❦

About the Author

Dan is sought after and recognized homeland security authority with a wealth of experience in exigent leadership, crisis management, emergency management, continuity of operations, and security/anti-terrorism.
He is a graduate of the Naval PostGraduate School, Harvard Kennedy School, Swedish Defense University, FBI National Academy, and the United States Marine Corps Command and Staff College.
Dan has played a significant role in numerous high profile and critical assignments. Dan has provided security and emergency management across the United States and its territories, and internationally. He has directly supported more than 800 declared disasters and served as the anti-terrorism officer/emergency manager in Washington, DC, during the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.
He has consulted and produced various security and emergency management operations at the 1996 Summer Olympics, 2002 Winter Olympics, the 2004 Summer Olympic Games, and the 2016 Summer Olympics. He is a presenter, lecturer, and published authority in emergency management, asset protection, information security, leadership development, and physical security. He has also consulted for four of the largest marathons in the United States and the Super Bowl. The combination of leading Marines, large event management, emergency management, organizational leadership, anti-terrorism, and high-risk experience makes Dan O’Connor uniquely qualified for helping an organization both operationally and strategically.

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