Many of the most impactful lessons I have learned in my life have been ones which are delayed in my understanding. I am not sure of the exact reason this has occurred. My mother often would comment on stopping what I was doing and listen. Do not interject what I thought was the answer and instead learn and change in a new course of action. Despite my mother’s ardent attempt to channel her son’s unfocused attention, it normally took a major event or an outsider to steer my gaze. Sons are stereotyped as being a bit more resistant to formalized learning than girls, and I was no exception.
To help tackle my unique mountain of a challenge, my parents would emphasize life experiences ranging from emphatic or participatory moments in the hope of germinating a change to open my mind and influence my walk. My parents represented hard science and enchanting humanities bathed in language and cultural acceptance. In this combined approach, my parents scaffolded my maturity, and the delivery of my lessons instilled drive, humility, and devotion to those I love.
Both of my parents had traveled to other states and countries and wanted my brother and I to see the world. Refusing to allow us to become isolated in our local community, we set out to visit several countries: especially in our teen years. My father tempered our travel with small voyages with him during sporting events over a four-year period. My brother traveled to North Carolina, and I went to Montreal, Canada. First, this was father-son time. We were able to support my father and the sport he coached, develop relationships with collegiate level athletes, and partake in different foods and customs. Second, we traveled out of the social bubble we were comfortable in and saw a new world. Once we demonstrated a willingness to travel and were open to new ways of being, we graduated to more profound travel plans.
As a family we headed east and visited several countries: Ireland, England, Scotland, and Whales. These countries represented so many lessons leading to the development of dissolving my ignorance obtained through schoolmates, movies, and a lack of academic and cultural discipline. Although each of these countries spoke the English language, they all had differing uses of how they communicated, dressed, believed, and lived. They were not the same. The outer layer does not represent the truth of the matter. I did not comprehend the depth of these differences at the time, but it was a major step of learning. These lessons would prove vital for future trips and learning on my own.
My first overseas venture I took on my own was to the Republic of South Korea. Despite the reluctance of many of my fellow soldiers, I embraced the adventure. This outlook of willingly stepping into change was predicated by my upbringing. I tried in every way to be a good ambassador to my country, my family, and who I was as an individual. I took my shoes off in someone’s home, I awkwardly learned Hangul and attempted to mimic their customs. Majority of the South Koreans were surprised and honored that I, as an American, would attempt to do it their way. Albeit I was nowhere near as refined as they were; but it was the fact I tried. I was invited to ramen parties, family events, and social gatherings by native South Koreans. I took every opportunity to get out of my barracks room and walk amongst the people, armed only with my backpack and appetite to engage the masses I dove in. I visited their cities, country sides, and religious monasteries. By getting past my own way of seeing the world and accepting theirs, I took so much more from their culture than simply observing it. I breathed it in. Out of all my military assignments, it was my favorite, and I cherished every moment I had there. I think of South Korea often and have a desire to go back.
Professionally, I traveled to several other countries. Germany, Nova Scotia (Canda), Jamaica, Japan, and Mexico. I never forgot the early lessons of my youth and took them with me as I traveled in age as well as mileage. Though I was not on personal time, I was able to at least stay for a couple of days and peer into their lives. Regardless of the language differences, by removing any preconceived notions of who the people of those cultures were, I was graciously accepted and even cared for. In Germany I stood in the center of the square of Munich and watched the vibrant activity of the people around me. The Rathaus-Glockenspiel and the biergartens, the laughter and the sense of family first. Though alone and a foreigner I was asked to join a family for dinner with a K9 companion! Each country has something wonderful to see and experience: the fresh waters of Nova Scotia, the warm nights of Jamaica, the food in Mexico, and the traditions of Japan.
I learned how to embrace the world not as I saw it, but how it was. This life lesson was truly delayed to me. My parents understood I would not “get it” until I was ready, and I would not be ready when others wanted me to have it, regardless of how much I was forced. This life lesson continues to grow in me, at times with great vigor and others a slow and steady feed. In depth as well as dimension. Children who are mentored to develop a broad vision which can narrow when appropriate are provided quintessential life skills they can apply to any situation. Peering through a looking glass is not myopically centered on our viewpoint, it sees things as they are. ❦

About the Author

Chrisitan A. Nanry is a veteran and serves his community as a law enforcement official. He is a Board Advisor for PWP, and his research topics include human trafficking and exploitation, missing persons, sextortion, and crimes against children.

He holds a doctorate of philosophy from Texas State University.

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