A parent’s worst fear is a missing child. Whether they were kept after school for detention and forgot to call, lost track of time talking with friends, didn’t come home from school, or got mad and stormed out, when your child isn’t home when they should be, the world as you know it comes to a screeching halt.
You immediately panic as your thoughts race from are they with “the wrong crowd,” someone they met online, are they lying unconscious in a ditch from a car accident. Find the strength and courage to take control of yourself and the situation.

MAKE A PLAN AND STAY THE COURSE

Contact the Police.
Provide a recent photo, accurate height, weight and a physical description of what the child was wearing the last time you saw them. Hair samples and an article of clothing with your child’s scent (something from the dirty laundry like socks or a sweater) is helpful. Provide the name of any prescription medications they are taking, or if they have medical or mental health conditions (diabetes, asthma, ADD/ADHD)
Contact the school.

Did they have detention, after-school club meeting, practice or rehearsal?
Did they attend all classes today?
Do school security cameras show what time they left the building and who they left with?

Contact their friends.
Ask friends the last time they saw them, where they saw them, and who they were with at the time.
Check all cellphone and laptop activity through a Parental Monitoring App.
Check all games, chats, apps, photos and videos SENT AND RECEIVED.
Check active and historical locations.
If you see something suspicious on a screen, take a photo using your phone, do not open, share, copy or delete anything. Be prepared to turn over all of their devices to law enforcement for forensic analysis.
Have they received any recent game tokens, gifts or money on CashApp/VenMo? Again, capture photos for further investigative leads.

WORKING WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT

Although you may be told your child “probably ran away” do not accept or assume that to be the case. Some children do run away from home to meet with friends. If you find your child has been communicating with someone online, or had sent or received any photos, gifts, money, or game tokens they may have fallen victim to a child predator who has been grooming them for sex trafficking.
If this is the case, share this information with law enforcement immediately. You may want to reach out to an organization that works with child rescue. Law enforcement can provide you with a list of organizations they work with on a regular basis.

PATIENCE MAY BE A VIRTUE BUT NOT TO AN ANXIOUS PARENT

You must let law enforcement do their job. They have procedures and protocols to follow which are not going to be on your timeline. Be prepared to be questioned and asked if you are involved or have any pertinent information. They must ask everyone including you so don’t be offended, just cooperate. Set your ego aside and just answer their questions openly, honestly, and to the best of your ability. This is not about you as a person or you as a parent. This is about your child who is missing. Stay focused on the big picture…bringing your child home quickly and safely.
There are things you can do such as reaching out to local media, passing out flyers with a recent photo and contact information, and posting flyers on social media platforms. Above all, never lose hope your child will come home.

TRANSITIONING FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR TO WARRIOR

Once your child is located, rescued, or comes home take them directly to a local hospital for a medical and mental health evaluation. No matter what your child says or doesn’t say, they are still a child and have been traumatized and possibly victimized. This is not the time for being critical, judgmental, or angry. Your child is a victim. Work with professionals to guide them on their healing journey and successfully transition from victim to survivor to warrior.
Allow the child a chance to settle back into the home environment and feel safe. They may have been under the influence of illicit drugs and may be experiencing withdrawal, nightmares, night terrors, panic attacks, or flashbacks. Don’t minimize, downplay, or sweep what they are feeling under the rug. This has had a huge negative impact on the child as well as everyone in your family. All members of the family can benefit from therapy. Healing is going to take time, patience, understanding, and compassion.

If the child did run away, they may start to feel pressured, threatened, judged, or micromanaged and try to run away again. Therapy can help cope with those feelings and fears.
If the child was trafficked, they may experience feelings of shame, guilt, humiliation, self-hatred, and exhibit self-harm or self-destructive behaviors. Again, therapy is key. It’s okay to feel whatever you feel. It is crucial for them to learn how to constructively deal with those thoughts, feelings, and emotions instead of lashing out at themselves or others.

THE JUDICIAL PROCESS – FINDING THE WARRIOR WITHIN

If your child was trafficked, kidnapped, or a victim of sextortion, the police will want to press charges against the perpetrator. The wheels of justice move slowly … painfully slowly. Be prepared for multiple interviews, depositions, hearings, and trials. You and your child may feel as if you are on trial, not the perpetrator. Be prepared for the media to be rude, vulgar, and intrusive. The public can be very cruel. It takes great strength and courage to see this through and make sure the perpetrator is sentenced.
This is also the time for you and your child to take back your power and use this experience to light the path for others. Find your inner warrior who has survived Hell and back and is ready to stand tall and proud in your truth, and in the journey from Victim to Survivor to Warrior. ❦

About the Author

Brenda Minge is a retired RN, and now a Life Coach specializing in Trauma Therapy. She is certified in Family Development, Stored Memory Access Retrieval Trauma Techniques, NLP, EFT/TFT, EMDR, PTSD / PTSD Case Management, Guided Imagery, and Relaxation Hypnotherapy.
Having been raised in the Midwest, Brenda takes great pride in her Midwest values and down-to-earth approach to dealing with clients and families. Clients say talking to Brenda is like sitting down for coffee with your best friend.
Brenda is committed to helping individuals struggling with PTSD, C-PTSD, Moral Injury, Depression, Anxiety, Core Wounds, Generational Trauma, Grief, and Loss. Her clientele includes veterans, active-duty military, law enforcement, first responders, victims of family and domestic violence, and victims of sexual assault and human trafficking. Through therapy clients transition from Victim to Survivor to Thriver / Warrior.
Brenda is also on the Board of Directors of The Veterans Ranch, which offers free equine therapy to veterans, active-duty military, and Gold Star Families dealing with PTSD, grief, and loss.

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