Moving at a young age often has a significant impact on children throughout the United States, as it can cause a shift in personal identity through restarting socially in a new environment. The process of relocating unlocks a wide spectrum of emotions for children, as some may view relocation as a chance for new opportunities, while others may feel overwhelmed or distressed by the disruption of their personal growth. For children who are beginning to shape their personal identities, the experience of restarting in a completely new environment can challenge this process.
During adolescence, between ages twelve to eighteen, children begin to understand and form identity versus identity confusion. An example of this would be an individual weighing out their previous experiences, societal expectations, and their aspirations in establishing values and “finding themselves.” This stage is crucial as it is the prime age when children find a secure understanding of their personal identity. It can be argued that identity formation is built on stable experiences, relationships, and environments. Relocation may have a negative impact as it disrupts the process of these stabilizing factors, making it difficult to form a sense of self-certainty.
This raises the question, to what extent does the redefining of home influence military children’s sense of belonging and identity? The redefinition of home may have a significant negative influence on military children’s sense of belonging and identity, as it may lead to struggles with finding stability and self-identity due to unwanted change and emphasizes the importance of having a place to resonate with the concept of “home.”

The Struggles With Finding Stability and Identity Due to Unexpected Change.

Unexpected changes, such as an unexpected relocation, can disrupt a child’s sense of stability, making it difficult for them to form a consistent identity and secure a feeling of belonging. As a child navigates the challenges of moving into a new home, the process can affect social and emotional development.
Moving to a new city or town can be overwhelming for any child. Amid the chaos of packing, kids are forced to say goodbye to friends, teachers, and the familiar comfort of their community. This sudden change can lead to confusion and a sense of loss. A child finding themselves in a completely different environment can lose their previous sense of stability and belonging as they have to navigate a new social life within new establishments such as school.
This resonates with an article I read on Gunner, age ten, who shares his experience with big moves: “I am ten years old, and I have been to four different elementary schools. It is very scary to have to go to a new school, especially in the middle of a school year. It’s always frightening to go to a new school because you never know if the staff are going to be nice. You are always forced to meet new people and they do not always know what it’s like being a military kid.” Gunner’s experience highlights the challenges that children face when attempting to navigate new and unfamiliar environments.
The worry and uncertainty of building a new social life can strain children’s process of building personal identity. As children are forced to leave behind their familiar surroundings and adapt to a new environment, the process of redefining “home’ becomes an emotional and social issue that directly impacts their sense of belonging. Gunner’s experience highlights this struggle, showing how the fear of social rejection and the pressure of constantly having to adapt to new environments can lead to feelings of isolation.

Moving’s Positive Impact on Children

In contrast to the idea that moving is disruptive to a child’s development, it can also be seen to have a positive impact on children. Military spouse Lizann Lightfoot’s blog Reasons Military Kids Love Moving states that “sometimes a new school is confusing and intimidating, but some military kids enjoy the chance to start again with a blank slate. Going to a new school means new teachers — and a chance to make new friends.”
Lightfoot’s perspective sheds light on a positive derivative of the argument by emphasizing potential growth and new opportunities. For some, relocation can foster beneficial skills, such as flexibility, adaptability, and social skills. The opportunity to create a new identity in a new environment can empower children to approach change with optimism, confidence and excitement. The argument that moving has positive impacts on children highlights the enriched possibilities of relocation, but it fails to mention the emotional toll it takes on children.
While this benefit may be valid for many, others may feel alienated by the unexpected change. It is crucial not to disregard the negative emotional and social effects that relocation can have on most children. Therefore, while there are certainly children who may thrive in new environments, it is important to recognize that the impact of frequent moves is highly individual, and not all children will necessarily experience the same positive outcomes. Long-term effects of relocation should also be considered.

Different Outcomes Among Military Children (Personal Experience)

My family has always been categorized as a “military family”. Over the years my father has served, my oldest sister has moved eight times, and I have moved three. Clearly, I got the softer end of constant relocation out of my sisters.
With the countless experiences we all have had, from European countries such as Spain and Italy, to a quiet town in Virginia, there was a clear difference in outcomes between each of us. The most notable, in my opinion, is the difference between my older sister, and I, the youngest child. From my perspective, I was very young when we moved around. From the United States to Europe and back, I was seven by the end of it. My parents specifically chose Virginia as the final place we would move due to the military, just so that I could have a stable experience and grow up in one area. Due to this, I have long lasting memories and friendships that have yet to be stripped away from me and will not be until I leave for college. My older sister, on the other hand, had moved eight times in seventeen years, only truly settling in one place when she left for college. In an interview, she explains her struggles with fitting in and making friends. It took time for her to realize that constantly moving was not normal for everyone, and the new schools that she attended would already be sorted into cliques.
Moving to Virginia for middle school was the first time she felt stable, she had made it to the seventh grade and was excited to move on to the “top of the pyramid,” eighth grade. She was in clubs, the band, and had a friend group. Two weeks before eighth grade she found out she would be moving yet again, this time to Italy. Everything she had built during her years in Virginia were being stripped away from her. She had to move to a completely new country, with new standards and new confusion. My sister’s experience as a military child has taught her to never get comfortable.
Today, she is a Navy Officer and is able to adapt to new environments fairly quickly, saying, “My mind is okay with sudden change, but my heart still has trouble processing.” Meanwhile, I’ve grown into someone who values roots and stability, someone who finds comfort in familiarity.” Our dynamic reflects these paths: she’s the resilient nomad, and I’m the grounded homebody. Moving at certain ages has clearly shaped who we are, early consistency allowed me to grow with a sense of place, while constant disruption during her critical social years left my sister both strong and scarred. Her story emphasizes the lasting emotional toll of relocation during prime developmental years, showing how moving constantly can deeply impact one’s ability to connect, settle, and feel at home.
An unexpected, semi-permanent change of scenery can damage a child’s process of growing an idea of self-identity and sense of belonging, as it can be difficult to adapt to a new social and personal environment. However, whether relocating during childhood is harmful or not can be experienced differently for everyone; depending on, for example, how old the child is, their character, their support system, and how often they experienced moving. This break in routine can be proven difficult if the child is in a prime stage in discovering their personal identity. A young adult, or child, who has a good social support network may adjust to the move better and even see it as an opportunity for growth.
The impact of relocation on a child can also be lessened in some cases by a stable family structure or supportive community, as well as a previous ability to adapt to similar disruptions. Although moving might seem like an enormous mental and psychological burden, the interactions between who a child is, where they are socially located, their connection to place and space, and external environments lends to a variety of outcomes in relation to identity and sense of belonging. ❦

About the Author

Laila Moore is an upcoming high school junior in Northern Virginia. She enjoys playing volleyball, volunteering, listening to music, traveling, reading, and hanging out with her friends and family. She plans to double major in Political Science and Media Studies, then advance her education at law school. She is in many high school clubs, with the Environmental Club being her favorite, where she plans to further advocate for the loss of biodiversity in her community. She also loves singing Hamilton with her older sister, who is mentioned in the article.

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